He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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