You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
