Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
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