don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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