It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
