oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
