i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
