i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
