Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
