U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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