no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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