Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
