i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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