question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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