Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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