im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
