Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
