drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
