when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
