I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
