Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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