Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize