If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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