my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
