No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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