My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
