oh god the rape fog is back!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
