It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
