Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
