before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
