new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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