Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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