i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
