Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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