we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
