"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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