and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
