Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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