did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
