Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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