There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my shit smells like andre
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
