"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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