I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
