Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize