It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
