Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize