Sponge bath it is.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
