this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
