you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
