My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
