Tell her she can't have a vagina
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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