So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
