i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
