My hand turned me down
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
