I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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