There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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