If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Can I color on your dick again?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
