So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize