Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
