her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
