dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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